9.29.2003

The Loneliness Shuffle:

The avoidance tactics a lonely person does to maintain the condition. For example, the lonely man sees an acquaintance further down the street. Fearing the possible recognition and subsequent "how do you do" tango, he crosses the street, eyes firmly affixed to concrete.

The fact that I'm moving toward total anonymity is bothersome, but it needn't be. Plenty of socially ostrasized people are not bothered by their existence. I'm bothered because I am essentially normal in most respects.

I have some writing talent, but no outlet. My ADHD (insofar as the condition is even able to exist) prevents me from initiating an undertaking of any size. I can't force myself to do anything. All I can muster on my own is the spontaneous creation you are now reading. Or as I'm imaginining a conscious being would be reading, as it's clear that you don't exist. No one will ever read this.