8.17.2006

I’m disturbed by the marrying insanity of Cambodians.

It is all too common a practice for Cambodians from the States to return to Cambodia and get married literally in a few days to someone they just met. $20,000 is a common figure to be paid for the privilege. This is done with the consent of the family.

They have to fake a marriage and lie to consular officers to get the visa in order to live in the states. It’s extremely common and it’s a very un-American thing to do. The Cambodian-Americans who are fully Americanized are not the ones who are doing this. It’s those who came over when they were still children who are coming back now to get married.

If you think about the time-frame: now is the time when it’s going to happen: The refugees mostly came to the states in the early 80s, just after the Pol Pot regime. The children they brought with them would be in their late 20s, early 30s by now. The ideal marrying age for men.

The ones who are completely Americanized and cannot speak Khmer are not the ones doing it in great numbers. It’s the ones that were born in Cambodia and spent several years of their life there that were never really completely American and thus had trouble getting American girlfriends.

But as for me, I am completely American and yet I had a hell of a time finding girlfriends. But in Cambodia it was very easy and I didn’t have a family (or extended family) to “give” one to me. Although there were many offers from people who wanted to be my family.

So in a sense I am like those guys who were not completely American and had to come back to get a wife.

My parents were born in America. 2/4 of my grandparents were also born in America. And yet I feel and behave just like I am not completely American.

I am an American in Cambodia who is taking a local girl back to the states but who is not really even American himself. The difference is: I didn’t get paid for it. I’m doing it for love and my unborn child. But Cambodians would see no problem with giving a daughter to some Cambodian-American guy to marry her. Even if he is 36 and she is 18. But most Americans, myself included, would.

1 Comments:

Blogger Jamie said...

HI, I have since awhile ago, given up writing because of the lack of response (which just bothered me more than not keeping in touch)
I'm writing just to say hi and I miss my friend, so much for a little while away. I am glad to hear you're happy and you're life is so much better. Congrats on everything. Odd blog for me to read on my birthday and I'm not sure how I feel but at this point it's been so long I'm not sure if I'm entitled to any. please email if you are so inclined.
P.S. How many times have you already corrected my english in this note? LOL! I miss my friend

2:18 PM  

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