10.22.2003

FUCK!

10.20.2003

The world is too big to be made sense of.

What a horrible sentence.
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School gives the illusion of a small world. You grow up with the same people. But remember, this is only one neighborhood, town, city or district. Drive a little bit in any direction and you have a whole new group of people. All different, yet all the same. Those friends and teachers that affected you so much in your formative years would have been wholly different if you were from a different place. One of any number of countless American towns. There would still be the "really athletic kid" the "really smart kid" and the "irreplaceable, unforgettable best friend". But these people are all fungible. To such a degree that they might as well not have existed. The one grain of sand's existence never materializes on the beach. Our lives, our histories are part of a fabric of Americana. No one piece is meaningful. People should be understood in terms of their place-type.

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I yearn for all property and capital to be destroyed. A return to childhood, but more pure. Where all are truly equal. Alas, we'd have to blank brains of their knowledge. And sap bodies of acquired strength and fitness. Somehow we'd have to account for destruction/enhancement to brain tissue. This is approaching infinite complexity.

Approximatly 10% of my posts get lost for various reasons.

My last one was decent but was rambling.

I will express it in quick-poetry beginning with the same first sentence (the only sentence I can recall)

I am maimed but mildly.
invisible damage to the selfish masses
they know when told
a hideous gasp at events passed
time won't change cognizance
the obvious secret no one can see
the true test of intimacy.