The Seven Principles of Kwanzaa:

Nguzo Saba (social and spiritual principles)

UMOJA (UNITY) (oo-MOE-jah) - To strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race.

KUJICHAGULIA (SELF DETERMINATION) (koo-jee-cha-goo-LEE-ah) - To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves.

UJIMA (COLLECTIVE WORK AND RESPONSIBILITY) (oo-JEE-mah) - To build and maintain our community together and to make our brothers' and sisters' problems our problems and to solve them together.

UJAMAA (COOPERATIVE ECONOMICS) (oo-JAH-mah) - To build and maintain our own stores, shops and other businesses and to profit together from them.

NIA (PURPOSE) (nee-AH) - To make as our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.

KUUMBA (CREATIVITY) (koo-OOM-bah) - To do always as much as we can, in the way that we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than when we inherited it.

IMANI (FAITH) (ee-MAH-nee) - To believe with all our hearts in our parents, our teachers, our leaders, our people and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.

A cursory glance reveals thinly veiled Black Nationalism. It's not even worth thinking or writing about. I expected more.

The Seven Principles of Nihilism:

1. Everything is meaningless.

The disparity with regards to human intelligence is rather staggering. Of all species of life, human intelligence stands above as the single most variable animal trait.


Crude Oil. Black Gold. Petroleum.

Petroleum pervades American life to such a degree that its essence can only be described as abundence.

The essence of petroleum is its abundence, due to its persiveness.

Petroleum is so pervasive and flexible that it can only be described as the most abundent and crucial element in all human history.

I fear petroleum's power. What if we run out? What if we never run out? Everything will be made of plastic. I await plastic food. Its utter permeance dictates only one, completely logical assumption: plastic is God.

None of us can live without it. The entire world and our existence in it would be reduced to that of Cro-Magnons, living in a harsh wilderness. We would recover, I'm sure, with glass bottles, other sources of heat and power, even plastic-free computers. But at what cost? How many lives would be lost in transition? How much knowledge, technology would be forgotten in those 50, 100 years of rebuilding?

This is why I pray to plastic. Every day in every way. And I know plastic comforts me, as I burn it, wear it, behold it. It cleanses teeth, body, mind, soul. My plastic cup runneth over as it shepherds me from point A to point B.

The source of all things is in the Tao.
It is a treasure for the good,
and a refuge for all in need.
-Taken From the Tao Te Ching

The Tao is everywhere, it is the way. Just like plastic. The Tao of plastic.

At the very least, we should have a Petroleum Appreciation Day. For Plastic's sake, we have Earth Day. What the hell does that mean? A celebration of recycling, and nothing more. How banal.

Recycling isn't really feasible. It costs too much to recycle something so cheap. Both in monetary and in opportunity cost. Frankly, it's a waste of time to worry about a costless empty bottle of soda. As for me, I recycle faithfully--it's a tenet of my religion.