Damnit. I survived Skydiving.

It's not a big deal in tandem. Not even the first time. You fall real fast then pull the cord and float.

I was praying for some malfunction. But there are so many safety devices, even a backup parachute that goes off automatically if you don't pull the main chute.

..can't sleep.


Not being able to sleep used to be a romantic notion. Unable to sleep because some thoughts weigh ponderously heavy on your mind. Or perhaps the reasons were as mysterious as sleep itself. Just the fact existed: you're awake. Need I even mention that this sentiment no longer occurs? Could I possibly be more mechanical, more boring?


Bemoan the fact that capital pervades everything. Education, relationships, careers, lifespan. Everything. When you look at a child, do not see unlimited possibility. Do not see that he could be a doctor or a lawyer, or some other elite profession. Unless you want to fool yourself. Which I'm sure you do, because the notion that a child born into a lower class family will ever become a doctor is absurd. Doctors are a product of high input education and breeding. Just as high input agriculture produces a better crop, high input breeding produces doctors and lawyers. It takes money to send kids to colleges without them having to work. With everything provided--food, materials, living expenses, transport and a good wardrobe so he can attract higher caliber women. So they can round out their academic life with sports--a non-paying waste of time.

(Pretend I'm not writing the following: this is so obvious to me at all times, it seems perfunctory and wasteful to even spend time writing about it)