perso.wanadoo.fr/chabrieres/texts/anguish.html

I wrote that last post in three minutes. But I thought about writing it, on and off, for 30 minutes. Inspiration is just fascination with an idea. I'm sure there are other things I wanted to say. But I have no attention span. And it all breaks down, inevitably.

--
Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, cars, sidewalks, stores. Everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man.

--Travis Bickle

The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and to a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence.

--Thomas Wolfe

....was going to write a short story about the time, on January 1st 2000, in the wee hours of the morning, while driving home from New Years at cramped wait-forever-in-one-spot Times Square, that I made a friend driving somewhere near Springfield on the highway. The two of us shared speed-shielding duties all the way back to the Rt. 9 and 116 intersection Amherst. We danced for what should have been a 45 minute drive, for 20 minutes. 110 M.P.H on the highway. 80 once we got on route 9. Our love was palpable. Two motorists wanting to get home as fast as possible. United with a common goal and a common enemy--the cops. I turned left onto 116 as fast at 55 M.P.H screeching my goodbye to the friend I never knew yet will never forget.