When I think back of our relationship, which lasted approximately 2.5 months, I struggle to imagine spending time with her--being with her. It's hazy and out of focus in my memory like far highway signs at night. It's not that I misjudged her, the red flags were flying up on the first day like fireworks. Hard to ignore. It was just nice to have someone you could be accountable to. Regardless of the red flags--my intuition poking me, I continued the relationship surrounded in a minefield of dubious markers. I don't fear psychotic women and I don't fear being alone, for that matter. I fear the nonsensensical, effusive pillow talk that drops from my mouth almost uncontrollably. Threatening to bind me further in dubious relationships. The feeling of the moment, no matter how much trouble lurks, sinks my emotions causing complete inundation.