I've been writing in the conversationalist vein for about eight years. It doesn't seem like I can do much more with this style. Like a nagging injury I can't free myself of it.
I desire to convey existence. Thoughts, feelings, me. I'm not only concerned with removing the filter between words and what's ruminating through skull, I'm trying to remove the filter between the world of perception and experience and expression.
Certain facts appear obvious periodically:
Women perceive men in a real and palpable way which every heterosexual man reading this can understand: Look at another man.
End of fact. They see them exactly the same as hetero men. Just guys. Every once in a while you see some man, like Johnny Depp, and remark, "Gee, women must find him attractive." Other women are thinking exactly the same thing. That's why he's attractive, he inspires competition. A wealthy man, a rock star, artist, etc etc. inspire competition between women because of their very uniqueness. They also may say they like his broad shoulders or green eyes or cheesy smile. But this usually comes after she's determined her interest level. Women's only definate point of reference is other women's interest--the more girls in your harem, the more want to be there. When this is all boiled down (and I'm making a marvelous leap here) if there existed only two women and two men. The more attractive woman would be the one with the most aesthetically pleasing configuration of body parts and facial characteristics. The more attractive male would be whomever the other admires more.
Male attraction is much simpler. It's based on what we see.
Women will never know the furious, pulsating lust embedded in the visual world of every man. But then again, men will never know what it's like to bear children.
