11.29.2002

If every American only purchases one gift per child this shopping season, the entire economic system will collapse. Every parent can spend a little less time working and more time with their kids. Whatever system arises from the rubble will produce an aggregate increase in the quality of life.

11.27.2002

three minutes to write about it.

three minutes to stop laughing at myself.

three minutes to figure it out.

A note is prominently taped to the back of the office cordless phone. It says, "NO-NO-NO-BUTTONS FACE OUT."

11.26.2002

Yesterday I was trying to explain to a friend why I wasn't upset when various pop stars died.
I tried to be curt:
"Do the people on T.V. care about you?"
"No."
"Why should you care about them?"

He immediately changed his opinion, stating, "I didn't give a care that Aaliyah dies."
It's easy to indoctrinate five year olds.