4.30.2003

The final straw:
Sobbing, she replied to one of my emotionless comments,
"When your mom dies, you'll know how I feel."
That was it. I pulled over and told her to get the fuck out. She wouldn't, so I had to drive her home.
Incidentally, she had paid $100 just yesterday to live with me in my current situation. A couple of hours ago, she returned asking for her money back. Unfortunately the landlord had spent $60 of it and isn't currently employed. He won't give her anything saying it was her fault etc. She won't give the key back until she gets her money etc (she literally got the key ten minutes before the deal breaker). To end what had become an ugly situation, I volunteered to cover the remaining 60 dollars. Essentially, I paid to end a relationship; almost like a divorce settlement. The landlord was nice enough to give me 30 bucks off next months' rent, so my loss is only $30.

My brother's advice resounds:

"Don't stay in relationships where there is fighting. It's not worth it, and it will never be resolved."
-Did you and your GF of 7 years fight? (whom he split with last year)
"Yes. We fought within the first month."
And then

"The right relationships are where for some irrational reason the people are at peace with the other's faults. She'll say things like, 'oh yeah, but he's just like that."

The irrational part of his statement is what sticks out. It makes no sense that one person's faults would be tolerable and another person's unbearable. Getting along with someone, never or very rarely arguing, 'clicking' as is said, can be traced to cultural, social, economic, and physical reasons. But invariably one answer is as good as the next, making a truly 'right' relationship basically incomprehensible.

Blah blah blah blah blah. This is part of my, "well it could go both ways with the right amount of finagling--so therefore uncertainty is the answer" writing.


Some of my nastier traits:
-I can be a jealous person.
-I'm a fierce debater.
-Prone to some of the most effusive pillow talk.