11.27.2003

Corners define her room. A right angle rest beside her bed. On the other side another, smaller corner of a wall. A small hallway feeds into her enclosure. The Nursing Home itself is three L shaped structures attached and named Meadowood, Englebright and other conjunctures.

She fights. To breathe, to live another day. A wounded rat will fight if cornered. A dying human will fight ceaselessly when cornered. Her capacity, this Eve that she has become, for suffering is endless. Her spirit can withstand infinite suffering, her body can take very little more.

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On a personal note:

I can barely stand to watch her suffer/live. For several minutes I watch her struggling to breathe unmoved, then it hits me like a ton of bricks what I am actually seeing. Then it fades as instantly as it came. This is denial at work. It protects me from fully realizing her situation.

At other times I feel as though I am not even there. That I am watching some terribly realistic T.V. show.
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