1.16.2003

doc love's answer



Hi Lionel,

There were two significant mistakes you made when you accepted that first date with Susan.

First, you accepted a date on short notice. I know that it's flattering when a woman you like asks you out, but one of the bedrock principles of "The System" is self-control.

You should have told her that you already had a prior commitment, even though you didn't. Why? Because when you accept a date on short notice, it diminishes your mystery quotient in her eyes. It makes you appear too available and eager, and so her romantic Interest Level in you is impacted negatively. To you Psych majors: You gotta learn to play hard to get.

Guys, when a woman you've just met calls and asks you out on short notice, she isn't even aware of the fact that she'd actually like you more if you didn't accept the date. She's unconscious of the fact that, in reality, she's setting up a little test to see how much of a Challenge you are. Granted, usually, when a woman calls a guy after having just met him, she has to have a pretty darn high Interest Level to begin with.

Some might say your actions wouldn't impact her interest, but they do...

I reccomend reading the full article.

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